May 17, 2010
It has been a very long and difficult struggle since the day I packed up and left with my children. I've tried to do everything right. I've fought adversity time and again as a single Mother that would make a grown man cry. I went far beyond what I thought was "enough" to try every day to improve my life. And I've only seen a few precious moments and laughter here and there, amidst a horrible existence day to day for years on end.
I am again at one of those dead-ends...wavering between wondering why I am here and whether I should bother to "remain" here. Things are so very hard. Is a pitiful existence better than no existence? For how many years will I be made to suffer, and what atrocious acts did I commit in this, or a past life, to deserve this painful punishment? What are the benefits of lessons that only deepen my sorrow and harden my heart even further?
Please help me to understand. Please show me a doorway where none exists at this moment. Take me into Your realm and guide me...I await Your wisdom openly...
Labels: Witch's Journal